10. You have a haircut similar to the leading characters on MTV’s hit series “Two A Days.” Please think about how upset your dad must be with the person you have become and get it cut.

9. You have convinced yourself the 1990s Starters hat is still cool. The truth is the hat was never cool and here you are, 20 years later, still rocking it.

8. You make sure at least 10 people have your back before you decide you are in fact going to fight someone for the first time in your life. If you need the support of the National Guard before you throw a punch you should probably just go ahead and bite your tongue before you get yourself hurt.

7. You wear Duck boots even though it’s 60 degrees out. Come on, man, seriously?

6. You have “no money” when your buddies all throw in for beers or a bag of ganj but at the bar we see you buying shots of Patron for the three little piggies. So douchy. Not only to dick your friends, but, come on man, those chicks have fupas.

5. Your nicotine addiction coincides with your frat brothers’. You guys are so fratty!

4. You have a Grateful Dead poster hanging on your wall but don’t know who Jerry Garcia is. You are probably Googling Jerry Garcia as we speak.

3. You ask people where they summer.

2. When you hear the word salmon you think of the color of your collared shirt not the fish Grizzly bears eat. Enough said.

1. You get an allowance. Thanks Dad!!